Deb Wrapped 2025: Reflections and my strategy going into the new year
2025 was the year for ultimate growth. I stopped being a people pleaser, I cured my anxious attachment style, and I was able to strongly define and uphold my boundaries – which led to less draining dynamics in my life.
There were many moments in the year where I became so acutely aware of my own mortality. I turned 32 last year, and my body was really starting to feel it (sore knees, more cavities, overall tiredness). My body couldn’t get away with bad meals, or a week without exercise, and anything mentally draining would immediately translate into physical exhaustion.
It really made me think about whether it was worth putting up with anything in my life that made me unhappy. And to put it bluntly, the answer is no. It wasn’t necessary to live with something difficult if the process or outcome didn’t help me grow as a person. It felt more productive to put my energy towards something rewarding, instead of beating a dead horse.
I realised that everything that I did in my life was compounding – the more energy I spent reinforcing bad habits and relationships in my life, the more it would wear negatively on my psyche. I used to dismiss small negative things in my life, telling myself to ‘get over it’. But as soon as I started rejecting these negative situations and relationships, my life became significantly better, and every positive change I made increased my confidence greatly.
I’m now incredibly protective of my time and energy – as Kim Cattrall once said, ‘I don’t want to be in a situation for even an hour where I’m not enjoying myself.’
Before we get into it, here are my 2025 stats
I listened to 9,136 minutes of music and podcasts (5,290 minutes less than last year – My top artist was j-hope, my top song was MONA LISA by j-hope, my favourite album was West End Girl by Lily Allen, my favourite podcast was Voicenotes with Jordan Theresa)
I finished 14 books and 4 graphic novels (1 more than last year – My favourite books were Strange Pictures by Uketsu and Q&A by Adrian Tomine)
I watched 66 films and 6 documentaries (21 more than last year – My favourite film was Twinless, my favourite documentary was Mistress Dispeller)
I watched 30 TV shows (18 more than last year – My favourite show a three way tie between was The Studio, The Pitt, and My Love Mix Up!)
I went to 18 performances aka concerts and stage shows (5 more than last year, my favourite concert was j-hope’s Hope on the Stage, and my favourite show was The Picture of Dorian Gray starring Sarah Snook)
My favourite moment of 2025: Having a literal (!) and emotional weight lift off my shoulders that I’d been carrying for nearly 10 years (read more in this article).
My rating of the year: 9/10 (0.5 higher than last year!)
My 2025 theme was Artistry – how did I do?
In 2025, I vowed to be more creative – to focus on illustration and to do so much more than I had done in the past. I think the results were a mixed bag. Did I illustrate more? Yes I did! Was the work substantial or impactful? Not really. But that was okay! The biggest win of 2025 was that I stopped feeling so daunted by art. I just started enjoying the process again, something I haven’t really felt since I was a teen. It was pretty freeing to just pick up a pen and draw, without any expectation of improvement or monetisation. I just did it because I liked it, and that felt very liberating.
My 2026 theme is… Completion and Mindfulness
This year, I really want to finish a project, and complete things. While I did complete many drawings in 2025 that I’m very proud of, I did feel like it lacked thinking and design exploration. Design thinking is a muscle I use a lot at my day job, but I really want to create things that are my own personal style – even if it’s something as simple as a zine or sticker set.
The second theme is mindfulness. I started reading The Heart of Buddha’s Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh, and it has changed the way I feel about my energy, and how to work with life’s hardships. It ultimately comes down to being aware and focused on what I’m doing at all times, and to stop feeding myself distractions and negative habits. I want to spend less time scrolling, and not be juggling too many things at once. I’ve already deleted Instagram, Twitter/X, and TikTok off my homepage (and set a timer limit on all of them), and making that simple change has already improved my focus tenfold. My screen time is down by 70%, and I have less brain fog.
What are my 2026 goals and strategy?
Sleep more: I’m aiming for 7-8 hours of sleep per night, and an 80+ sleep score. When I was running my own business back in the day, I trained myself to never sleep in, and I haven’t been able to sleep past 8am for the past decade, regardless of what time I fall asleep (even if it’s 3am). On average I sleep 5-6 hours per night, and I need to increase that!
Clean and reset my place every day: When my place starts to get messy, so does my mind. It’s now a priority for me to clean and reset my place every day, as opposed to waiting for the weekend to clean everything up. I’ve started implementing it lately and I feel 1000% better, and I have less cleaning on the weekends!
Spend less money and do it more mindfully: I did a major spring clean at the end of last year, and threw out things I was holding onto for years. Some of these things I bought on a whim without thinking, others I bought hoping it would make me into a better person (more productive, more artistic, or cool). I also bought items which I knew weren’t perfect, but thought I’d be able to cope with their imperfections. I bought a lot of items as a band-aid, thinking my life would improve from the one item – but it didn’t. With every new item I purchase moving forward, I want to make sure I’m buying it intentionally, and will use it in the future. Especially when it comes to items like books, I want to spend less money by borrowing more often, or getting digital copies so I have less physical clutter in my home.
Limit my time to 20% planning, so I can spend 80% doing: I’m such a big planner – I spend so much of my time thinking about doing things, and planning the perfect “scenario” to do them, that I never have the time to actually do them. This year, I’ve simplified all my productivity tools down to my Google Calendar (with Google Tasks within it), and my Hobonichi Cousin (A5) only – aka the absolute bare minimum to make myself focused so I can move forward with doing my tasks.
Stay home, allow myself to be bored: I can get pretty busy, and every year I find myself staying out a lot, getting home and crashing after a long day of work and social plans. I want to actively stay home, so I have more time to get bored and find ways to be creative. It will allow me to recharge my social battery and feel less time poor.
Close or remove as many ‘open loops’ as I can: I’ve been seeing discourse about exhaustion coming from people’s ‘open loops’, and I have to say I strongly believe my emotional exhaustion comes from constantly feeling I have unfinished business, and all the tasks that need to be done. I want to quickly close these loops as soon as I can, or cut them loose if they don’t help me in the long run.
Complete projects! As I mentioned earlier, I want to complete projects, even if it’s small. I want to plan simple projects that are manageable amongst my day job, social commitments, and other hobbies. It will be a good escape from my day-to-day routine.
Build up my strength and flexibility: This year, I want to take my flexibility and strength seriously. I’m not getting any younger and want to prevent any mobility issues in the future (I already have sore knees! From walking!)
Continue to build my confidence and intuition: This is an ongoing process, but I feel like I made significant strides in 2025, and want to continue listening to my gut. I have made some decisions impulsively which weren’t the right choice, but funnily enough, it has made me more confident in myself because now I can definitively say what is wrong or right for me.
Add friction to social media: It is really the damn phone! I do use social media to stay connected to my friends, but now I’m using it purposefully for that, and not to distract me from my responsibilities. As I mentioned earlier, I deleted my apps off my homepage and set timers for all of them and it’s had positive changes for me.
How did I do with last year’s goals?
These were my 2025 goals, and I think I did pretty well!
Challenge any feelings of ‘guilt’ when they come up: Yes! I totally succeeded. I no longer feel guilty for making small mistakes or making my needs known. The feeling of guilt is now only reserved for the moments that I do something wrong.
Play into my limitations when it comes to art and make it my strength: I didn’t focus on this goal much in 2025, but I did make my personal art style more distinct. I will continue to work on my style and be more experimental.
Work on being less impulsive (in life and in art) – I need to sleep on decisions, and I need to stop feeling pressure to “react”: I did do this! I made fast decisions when I needed to, but I decreased impulsive decision making by 50%, and I was able to think more rationally without pressure.
Listen to my gut and body more: A 100% success, and I’m better for it.
Focus on improving my illustration and design work, developing my skills and POV in creative areas: I kinda succeeded, but it’s an ongoing process!
Spend less time on TikTok, decrease brain rot: I did, but also I didn’t. I’m getting better though ;)
Declutter, donate, spend less money and don’t spend impulsively: I did declutter, I did donate, but in 2025 I still spent a lot of money impulsively. However, 2026 is going to be the year I make this goal happen!
Detach, detach, detach: I have been able to completely emotionally detach from situations that don’t affect me personally, and if it does, I approach it in a very solutions focused way. I don’t overanalyse other people’s actions anymore, and I take everything at face value.
Do a bit today so I do less tomorrow: I did this really well! I didn’t feel like I had to be perfect all the time, and even a bit of effort went a long way.
Read 3 books from my to-be-read pile before buying a new book: I wasn’t perfect at this, but I did get through many books in my TBR pile!
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get into my revelations of 2025! (There are a lot!)
I’m living my life 100% for myself, and no one else
Let’s start with a big one – this was the first year where I believed that I was living 100% for myself. I’ve generally always prioritised myself when it comes to my own life and decision making (I chose the career I’m in now, I generally do what I want, and I’m lucky to have family that support my decisions as well), but there was always a part of me that felt like I was making myself small to not upset anyone. I was a people pleaser, I felt bad for setting boundaries, and I let people take advantage of my time and effort (willingly!). This year, I let go of my people pleasing (more on that journey here), and I finally got over my anxious attachment style, which I had unwillingly manifested during my 20s.
I had the irrational fear that putting myself first would mean I’d become selfish and reclusive – but that was just my anxiety talking. Turns out, implementing healthy boundaries enhanced the relationships I currently had, and strengthened my confidence in them. Nothing external really changed for me. But mentally, I felt so much more relaxed in myself and my relationships.
It’s okay to suck, but not okay to skip
After watching this video by Sharran Srivatsaa, the phrase “it’s okay to suck, but not okay to skip” really snapped me out of my perfectionism. I had spent a good portion of my adulthood avoiding new projects and habits because I didn’t think I’d make progress if I didn’t do everything absolutely perfectly. Switching my mindset to just showing up (and sometimes doing it badly) really took the pressure off. It was a priority to just do something, even if I was mediocre at it. This built on one of the main themes of Atomic Habits, which encouraged readers to show up in whatever capacity they could to build the habit (e.g. putting shoes on to go to the gym, and that being enough).
It also made me realise that being mediocre or putting low effort in something was still incredibly effective. I currently do a combination of swimming, badminton, and tennis as my workouts of choice, and while I am good at swimming (but hit a plateau), and I am incredibly mediocre at badminton and tennis. Even with this level of low effort I put into tennis and badminton, I have seen significant improvement in both skills over the last year, simply by showing up and doing what I can.
I managed my perfectionism by constantly striving for authenticity
Letting go of my perfectionism has been an almost-decade long journey. I think I’m still a perfectionist at heart, but one of the best ways I’ve been able to manage my perfectionism is simply being authentic. Everything I do at this present moment represents who I am right now – and when I look back at it in the future, I know there were no pretenses. I find charm in having worn journals, scribbled out notes, and scratched up items – the imperfections tell a story to me. And when it comes to my art – it doesn’t always need to be perfect. Seeing the improvement and transformation over time is much more interesting than always having flawless work.
What are the things I’m saying or doing just to “cope”?
On my last holiday, my friend Mary coined the phrase “biggest cope of your life”. Simply hearing those words made me think deeply about all the things I’ve done to “cope” with my life’s difficulties. I used to hate feeling uncomfortable or uneasy about things – so I would always make impulsive decisions to make me feel more secure immediately.
Here’s some examples of my “coping”:
I’d buy a new journal or a nice pen to motivate me to be productive when I was emotionally frazzled, instead of solving the issue that was causing me stress
When I bought an item that wasn’t exactly what I envisioned (e.g. my ‘tan’ leather couch being 3 shades darker than I wanted), I would try to convince myself that I liked it. (To be honest, I do now genuinely prefer the dark brown couch over tan brown, since tan brown looks very “millennial” and dark brown looks a bit more timeless – but it took a while to get there!)
If I knew there was a problem, I would try to solve it swiftly to get it out of the way (often by spending money), rather than sitting with the problem and the discomfort it brought. If I was more patient I could probably solve it without spending money or feeling rushed.
I’d say my biggest “coping mechanism” in life is buying things. Spending money can offload responsibilities (paying someone else to solve my problems), or gives me a sense of joy when things are chaotic (the shopping dopamine hit). Buying an item can make me feel like I’m making progress with a habit, when in actuality, buying nicer workout clothes doesn’t make me run any better. Now that I have a resolution to spend less and be more mindful, I’m now being more aware of the things my mind tells me to do to solve issues. I don’t need to buy a new journal to draw more, I don’t need to buy a piece of clothing to increase my confidence – I can’t rely on external things to cope with my internal struggles.
Everyone is on their own journey, and it’s none of my business
In my 20s, if someone asked me for help, I would overextend myself to help them – often to the detriment of my own energy levels and emotional wellbeing. No one explicitly asked me to do it, but I was happy to do it anyway (I had a savior complex and was a people pleaser – a deadly combo!).
Over the years, I became aware that there were limits to how much I could truly help someone. I can support them, but I can’t save them. They need to make their own decisions and mistakes, and figure things out for themselves. Last year, I became more of a side supporter, and it’s been great. I can still help out my friends and support them, but I don’t need to carry any of their emotional burden, nor do they want me to.
Out of sight, out of mind
Ever since I healed my anxious attachment, I’ve spent 80% less time ruminating about people, relationships, and every other aspect of my life. I’ve also noticed that if something isn’t affecting me right at that moment, the anxiety about the situation doesn’t stay with me anymore – I often forget why it bothered me in the first place (is this what it’s like to be healed??).
My brain is no longer reading between the lines. Instead, it’s taking situations at face value, and understanding potential nuances from what’s being presented. It doesn’t try to create a narrative based on my own assumptions or anxieties – I’m able to react more rationally, and detach from situations that are out of my control.
I stopped telling myself “I should’ve known better”
I’m a 100% believer that you have to live through a mistake to really learn from it. In an ideal world, the mistake you make will have very little consequences, but is consequential enough to teach you to be better.
I used to be so harsh on myself for “not knowing better” – for example, trusting someone new who eventually treated me badly, or doing something impulsive that went awry. Last year, I decided if there was little to no consequence (other than my ego being bruised), I’m not going to beat myself up for being wrong. “I should’ve known better” immediately brings in a level of unnecessary shame, so I’ve made a point of letting go of that in the past few years. However, if I keep repeating the same mistake again and again, that’s when I can acknowledge that something needs to change.
I’m continuously making fast decisions and following through, and more confident because of it
2025 was the year of fast decisions. I made a lot of decisions off the cuff, I was reactive (but pragmatic), and it was truly a test for me to see if following my gut would get me positive results. And the results are in… it made my life so much better! I stopped second guessing myself, I decreased my analysis paralysis, if I made a decision that was wrong I’d just own it, fix it, and pivot. It really became that simple.
I used to feel paralysed about making the wrong decision, and I would make no decision, or wait too long for the moment to pass. By making faster decisions, I closed a lot of “mental loops”, and was able to focus more. And as I made decisions based on my gut, and saw that it (more often than not) landed on a positive outcome, that gave me more confidence in myself and my choices.
13 Bonus 2025 learnings I now live by
Not everything needs the same energy
I stopped thinking I was a bad person for reacting negatively to someone who treated me badly. Maybe there’s a reason!
Bad feelings can easily lay dormant when life is going well
Something won’t get done unless you care about it
People look exactly like the choices they make every day
Embracing unpleasant feelings is important for your life
Every choice in life is just deciding if things are worth it
I no longer internalise my bad habits or mistakes, they are just are what they are
The body keeps the score, for decades – it’s important to proactively heal yourself
A problem shared is a problem halved
The easiest way to build your confidence is to follow through on your own promises
Make it exist first, make it good later
Context is everything